Emotional Blackmail Book PDF Free Download

Emotional Blackmail Book PDF Download Info

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Overview

   Emotional blackmail and FOG are terms popularized by psychotherapist Susan Forward to describe controlling people in relationships. FOG is the transactional dynamics between the controller and the person being controlled. The problem is often the person’s insensitivity to others’ needs and how others react to this control. Techniques for resisting emotional blackmail include strengthening personal boundaries, resisting demands, developing a power statement, and buying time to break old patterns. Novelist Doris Lessing claims to be an expert in emotional blackmail. However, popular psychology misuses the concept, labeling it as “blackmail” and “manipulation,” which is polarizing and implies premeditation and malicious intent. Controlling behavior and being controlled are transactions between two people.

Summary of Emotional Blackmail Book

   Emotional Blackmail is a powerful form of manipulation where people close to us threaten to punish us if we don’t do what they want. These manipulators often appear sweet or long-suffering but are often unaware of their actions. Emotional blackmailers create confusion and engulfing fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG) into their relationships, making it nearly impossible to see how they’re manipulating us. By addressing and correcting the behavior that causes pain, we can strengthen relationships and break the blackmail cycle for good. FOG (Fear of God) is a powerful and disorienting feeling that can lead to intense discomfort and a desire to understand the root cause of the issue. These hot buttons can be searing and can be used to push the blackmailer’s hot buttons, causing them to feel powerless and vulnerable. Emotional blackmail can be used to maintain close relationships and self-respect, with six stages: demand, resistance, pressure, threats, compliance, and repetition. The four faces of blackmail are punishers, self-punishers, sufferers, tantalizers, and fear.

   Blackmailers build their strategies on the information we give them about our fears, observing our reactions and behaviors, and using fear to drive us into black-and-white thinking. It is crucial to avoid allowing emotional blackmail to consume us and others, as it can jeopardize our relationships and self-respect. Adults often have ingrained values about duty, obedience, loyalty, altruism, and self-sacrifice, which are often influenced by our parents, religious backgrounds, societal beliefs, media, and close friends. However, many people struggle to define their boundaries and boundaries, making it difficult for blackmailers to take advantage. Guilt is a crucial aspect of being a feeling, responsible person, and can help maintain moral compass. Emotional blackmailers encourage global responsibility for complaints and unhappiness, using guilt as a tool to persuade us that blackmail serves us.

   Emotional blackmailers see conflicts as reflections of our misguided and off-base nature, while they describe themselves as wise and well-intentioned. They pathologize, accusing us of being neurotic, warped, and hysterical, and destroying trust in relationships. They also enlist allies, such as family members, friends, and ministers, to make their case for them. Negative comparisons can make us feel deficient and anxious, leading to a willingness to give in to blackmailers to prove their wrongness.

   Emotional blackmail is not about the target, but rather a way to stabilize insecure individuals. It is not about the target, but rather a way to manipulate and manipulate others.

Understanding the Blackmail Transaction

   Emotional blackmail is a complex and subtle form of manipulation that can occur in a relationship. Emotional blackmail is more subtle and occurs in a context where much is good and positive, with memories of positive experiences overshadowing the nagging feeling that something is wrong. To diagnose emotional blackmail, it must have certain components, and the symptoms can be seen in a couple in a conflict, whether they are friends, business colleagues, or family members. The six stages of emotional blackmail are: 1) Demand: Jim wants something from Helen, suggesting they move in together, 2) Resistance: Helen feels uncomfortable about Jim’s moving in, and 3) Reluctance. The symptoms of emotional blackmail can vary depending on the context and the type of relationship being manipulated. Helen’s resistance to Jim’s move is a reflection of her deficiencies, and he tries to make his desires and demands positive. He uses charm and charm to ask if Helen loves him enough to want him there. Pressure may come into play, though it may be cloaked in benevolent terms. Blackmailers may threaten to cause pain or unhappiness, or tantalize with promises of what they’ll give or love if they go along with them. Helen doesn’t want to lose Jim, and they only talk superficially about her concerns.

   Jim’s victory ushers in a quiescent period, and the relationship appears to stabilize. Helen is still uncomfortable about the situation but is relieved to have the pressure off and regain Jim’s love and approval. The emotional blackmail syndrome is rooted in these six characteristics, which are at the heart of the emotional blackmail system.

The Four Faces of Blackmail

   Emotional blackmail is a type of behavior that involves putting a demand on the table, but each type reflects a specific blackmail type. Emotional blackmail can be divided into four types: punishers, self-punishers, sufferers, and tantalizers. Each type of blackmailer operates with a different vocabulary and gives a peculiar spin to the demands, pressure, threats, and negative judgments that go into blackmail. These differences can make it difficult to detect and prevent emotional blackmail. The most blatant blackmailer is the punisher, who can express anger aggressively or smoulder in silence.

   They want relationships in which the balance of power is totally one-sided, with “My way or the highway” as their motto. Active punishers, on the other hand, use statements like “If you go back to work, I’ll leave you,” “If you don’t take over the family business, I’ll cut you out of my will,” “If you try to divorce me, you’ll never see your kids again,” and “If you won’t accept this overtime, you can forget about asking for a promotion.” Punishers may not always realize the full impact of their words or notice how often they threaten to disapprove of us or take away something important to us. Punishers can be dangerous and can carry through on threats 19 times out of 20, making it difficult for people to deal with them. Liz, a woman who had met Michael at a training session, found him controlling and controlling. He was controlling and controlling, and when she asked for ideas about day care and tuition, he became a control freak. When she asked if she wanted to stay in her marriage, he threatened to cut off financial resources and contact with the children, and pour on any other punishment they could think of. People trying to deal with punishers are always between a rock and a hard place, and if they resist, they run the risk of the threat being carried through.

   If they capitulate, they find themselves in a cauldron of rage, rage at the blackmailer and themselves for not having the guts to put up a fight. Many people who have mastered the art of turning otherwise competent adults into children are parents.

Emotional Blackmail Book PDF Free Download